One more day to go

Kai has been very excited since the arrival of his beloved Oma. We spent Sunday outside, walking in the park, visiting friends and gardening. It was a strangely unreal day. The heaviness of what is to come was temporarily put on hold. The weather was absolutely stunning and Kai radiant. Several people commented on how strong and healthy he looked.

Reality kicked back in this morning, when Kai and I went to the hospital for the last tests (chest x-ray and blood draw) before tomorrow's surgery. He was fascinated by the syringe drawing his blood. Only afterwards did he realize that it actually hurt a bit (the nurse just tied the bandage too tightly) and wanted to sit down on for some Schmusezeit (cuddle time). I gave him the squishy distraction toy from the bag of goodies the hospital gave us last week and explained to him that when he's hurting, it can help to squeeze the ball tightly. That seemed to do the trick. A trip to the cafeteria for some chocolate milk also helped. As we went through the glass-ceilinged walkways, he said we were walking along a long tongue into the monster's mouth. I remember imagining that when I was a child.

In the waiting room, we looked through a coloring book the hospital had given us to introduce children to the people who work in the hospital and some of their medical instruments. When I referred to one of the stuffed animals in the book as Bama, Kai insisted "That's NOT Bama!" perhaps to create some distance between himself and the hospital scenes. He asked again why we had to come to the hospital for the tests, instead of just going to our doctor. I told him that the hospital has much better equipment for taking pictures. He is definitely registering that these are not the usual doctor check-ups, but it doesn't seem to bother him too much. Running down hallways, getting stickers, and looking for the big bird pathfinder markers are in the forefront of his hospital awareness.

We got the call about tomorrow's schedule: we arrive early at 6:15 am, surgery begins at 7:15 and should be done by 9:15 (the next child comes into the operating room at 9:30). We will wait in the ICU waiting room and see Kai again when he wakes up in the Pediatric Intensive Care unit. He can bring one stuffed animal and a toy. The first day and night will probably be one long medication-induced sleep. Chris and I will do alternate shifts for the first night, since only one parent can sit on a chair by the bedside. The next nights, one of us will hopefully be able to sleep in a cot by his side.

Since we didn't want to confuse Kai, we waited until after our hospital visit today to talk with him about the upcoming stay. He seemed excited by the idea of packing a suitcase and spending several nights in the hospital. We began by reminding him how his legs sometimes get tired when he runs and that the doctor would fix it so that he could run as fast and for as long as his friends. He quickly disagreed with our assessment: "But I can run really fast!" We explained that the doctor would give him some sleepy gas and that we'd be there when awakes. He might feel uncomfortable, but the doctor will give him some medicine to make pains go away. To this he said: "I won't hurt." He remembered the playroom we visited last week and was thrilled to know that he could watch "Kipper" movies. So that was it. I don't think he grasped the enormity of it, but then maybe that's the way it is and should be at this age.