Monday, May 30, 2011

Back again

Where to begin. Has it really already been a day and a half since we left the hospital!? The way Kai was running down the street to visit his friend Sefa this morning, you'd hardly think that he just had heart surgery. He is a bit paler, has a bruise on his hand from the iv and some residual adhesive from bandages that were on his neck. He has a 3cm long incision line along his backside and a small incision where the chest tube was--but otherwise he seems unchanged. Quite amazing really.

It seems like we can finally let our guard down, but I can't help feeling wary. During the tornado watch yesterday I kept on thinking about the plane that plunged into the Everglades several years back. People survived the crash, but were then eaten up by alligators. What if a tornado hit the hospital? What would happen to the children I'd grown so fond of over the last week, and to the children who were still in the intensive care unit? These rather irrational, morbid thoughts suggest that I'm still processing everything. Hypervigilance is the baggage I still carry from the past week. I wonder whether Chris and Kai have their equivalent? They don't show it.

We arrived home yesterday just in time for Ilan's radio show. When Kai heard the dedication to him, he looked pensive. Then, as the music played, he gave Chris, Amy, Oma and I each an instrument to play ("here, you play it this way!") and then we danced. He brought all of his stuffed animals out into the living room to greet Bama. It was a sweet homecoming with the table spread with delicious food brought over by friends. And the food keeps coming (thank you Kim and Anne, Bev and Sascha, Laura, Ilan and Sofia!). We feel infinitely blessed.

Photos: Kai back home on front porch, Kai at Big Bird sculpture leaving hospital, Kai sitting on wheelchair (what fun!) ready for chest x-ray

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